Phill Cassey’s article Why I’m not applying for promotion has stumped me. I’m not sure how I feel. His non-defensive self-awareness has my full attention and regard, but his sacrifice does something to me on the inside. The tornado of rage I’m mostly good at keeping calm and at bay has been stirred. Society functions off women’s unseen, overlooked, devalued sacrifices and servant-ude, domestically and professionally. Yes he’s only a sample size of one, making a small but incredibly symbolic statement of solidarity (how can I not appreciate him for that?), but moving in the direction where more rather than less suffer doesn’t feel right.

I don’t want to get ahead by bringing others down. I just want an equal piece of the pie, which we all sit around eating together heartily with joy, respect, and friendship. I want a seat at the table, but not by taking away someone else’s chair, or bringing my own and forcing my way in to sit beside it. I want the table made bigger. Everyone made room for. Everyone welcome. The tussle is between the social material reality of competition and the spiritual immaterial desire for harmony. They are different planes.